November 14, 2009 at 1:02 pm (hari-hariku)
to be able to sit down and do my things, to be able to arrange my time to do the things i want to do, instead of having to worry about project meetings, reports, deadlines..this is what i want more than anything else for now..
the past week has been a crazy one..with meetings as early as 9am that last till 11pm and continue to meet again at home till dawn..to be able to finally sleep at humane hours,it was a good end to the hectic weekdays..
enjoying the breeze in my own little working space now: perfect day..but sadly i gotta do other things now.. 
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November 9, 2009 at 12:36 am (pikiran)
it just irritates me how unfair this life can be, at times.
remember the story of how the landowner of vineyard hires different laborers at different time but all the laborers were paid one dinar at the end of the day? yeah that’s unfair work and unfair reward. the landowner didn’t promise to be fair, he promised to give what he said and you have agreed to his terms: nothing to say already.
this is the exact situation facing me right now. this irritating project that we spent hours and hours thinking, proposing, rejected, thinking, proposing, rejected, improving, brainstorming, cracking our brains……that really wasted so much of our time………what makes it even worse is the fact that there are groups which didn’t do a single sh*t at all and just took past papers and just replicate it. well, that’s different amount of works done, but definitely the reward system is the same.
i’m really pissed off, but what can i do? not possibly anything.
just have to face the fact that life is JUST NOT FAIR.
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November 8, 2009 at 12:16 am (doaku, pikiran)
well, i really rarely blog, but when i blog, it is always whinings..
but seriously, i m really in the verge of breaking down, i don’t know what is my limit, but for sure i know i am really tired.
and having friends whom i thought are my friends, friends whom i thought are committed to my success, and yet not supporting me with the one thing that i am so passionate about, really saddens me…and tips it off..
projects and reports are not going well.. exams are really one week away and i havent even started to read anything.. and home isn’t exactly where i like to be at now..
i guess it’s just the flood that comes at one go, the tsunami has hit me.. and i know it’s my choice whether i want to ride above the flood or be flooded away.. but sometimes, i really don’t feel like making that decision.. sometimes, it feels that hiding underneath the sea away from everyone is the better choice…
what am i doing all these for? sometimes i do wonder.
i know i am doing this for God. i am doing this for the people i love. but at times like this, these reasons just simply are not enough to keep me going. i hope i won’t explode, not too soon. gotta keep going, i still have a whole future to paint…
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