post-exam euphoria

well, it’s 1.20am in the morning, i havent bathed, but i just feel the compulsion to blog after all my exams are DONE. my 2nd year in SMU is officially OVER, like that in the blink of an eye. my plan was to graduate in 3 years, that means exactly 1 year from now, i will be standing in the exam hall for the last time, staring into the future that seems so vague. well, time flies.

so many things happen during the exam period but one thing i am glad about the exam period is that exam in itself is an EXCUSE for not doing things. things like looking up for internship, my holiday trip, my summer plan. well, i have delayed all these till now. now i am faced with a junk of plans to think about. and now i cant use EXAMS as an excuse for not doing this right and thinking about them now.

well, post-exam isnt exactly a euphoria. there are many afters to do. especially things that have been knocking on my face for far too long.

ain’t exactly free.

life is full of decisions, yeah?

anyway, if you see a handsome man, please let me know. =))

penyesalan hidup dan pantang menyerah

kalo ngomongin soal penyesalan hidup, bnyk bgt sih.. well, sering bgt gw jadi orang always takes things for granted, dan selalu menyesal setelah kehilangan.. emang bener kata orang “you never know how much you love it/him/her until you lose it/him/her”

hal itu sering terjadi sama gw.. dan setiap kali keinget kalo ko yoh sering bilang “don’t pray for opportunities to come, but pray that when opportunities come you are ready”.. well, setiap keinget itu, selalu terasa condemned. sering kali aku mendapat kesempatan, bukan gak ada kesempatan, tp aku melewati nya dan melepaskan nya dengan begitu saja.. terkadang karena gak siap, tp terkadang yah simply doesnt know its value.. kalo aku tau value nya, pasti gak akan aku lepaskan gitu aja kan.. pasti aku akan usaha dan meraih nya sebisa mungkin..

well, bnyk hal yg spertinya sudah lalu, sudah gak bisa diapa2in lagi.. mau dinangisin sampe 100 ember jg gak akan bisa merubah situasi skrg.. it’s already GONE, GONE, GONE…… kesempatan gak akan dateng mengetuk pintu kita 2x.. kalo hilang yah sudah.. well, terkadang jd mikir: bego amat sih lo, uda kepengen bgt, uda didoain tiap hari, begitu dpt, malah di sia2in aja. yg ngeberkatin jg sebel lah. ini orang bego ato apa sih? yeah i know it’s condemning, pesismis bgt kan pikiran kyk gini.. well, that’s only human..

memang bener sering kali aku mikir kyk gini, sering kali terlintas rasa ingin ngamuk dan marah2 sm diri sendiri. terkadang sumpek, sebel dan benci. but well, bisa apa jg kan?

apa yg sering gw lakukan adalah: nangisin dan sesali sehari aja.. kalo perlu telpon temen bae, marah2in.. msn/ym temen2 bae.. fb message.. tweet kalo perlu.. marah2 aja sampe puas.. sampe lega.. sampe plong.. nangis kalo perlu 20 ember.. abis itu.. MOVE ON…….. the past isn’t worth lingering around for too long, the past is never as glorious as the present and the future.. Tuhan aku Tuhan yg memberi berkat from glory to glory.. rencanaku indah di tanganNya.. people make mistakes, dont dwell over your mistakes. what we have to do everytime we fall down is to stand up again and fight again.. till your last drop..

kita bole punya penyesalan hidup, tp kita gak bole nyerah begitu aja ketika tantangan datang dan banyak hal yg menentang kita.. maju terus pantang menyerah dong!!!!!!

imperfect.. that’s simply who we are..

building fun 2008/2009

the past six months have been great, from the first seed that i sowed back in november until the last seed that i sowed last week. there are times when it feels like i m being robbed, sowing in tears, but there are times when i sowed joyfully because of his abundant blessings and protection in my life. well, ever since i sowed in november, my life has been PROSPEROUS, more PROSPEROUS and is now VERY PROSPEROUS. mantap.

Ketika kita membangun rumah Tuhan, Tuhan akan membangun rumah kita. ada amin? :) taon lalu bulan desember, aku pindah rumah sm dora, n my parents were totally supportive despite the 50% increase in the rental fee. and ketika aku balik indo, mama tiba2 mau RENOVASI seluruh rumah. rumah nya skrg aku blom liat kyk apa, tp yg pasti BAGUS ^^ kata pst aries bener.. RESESI?? apa tuh resesi??? my family doesnt live in recession. :) well i dont say we dont experience the decline in sales, the shrinking budget that we have to live with.. we do.. but our standard of living didnt decline despite the recession, my parents can still afford it :)

and the best is.. selama liburan di indo, aku dikasi duit jajan bnyk bener.. dr PAPA, MAMA dan KOKO… pdhl biasa yg ngasi duit jajan cmn mama doang.. ^^ it totalled up to almost 1,5x my pledge amount :)

and then.. in march, my grandmother came over to singapore for medical checkup which never happened before. and she gave me extra allowance of the exact amount i pledged. :)

and end of march came my birthday, and i was given a Blackberry Curve 8900 (Javelin) which i never expected before. never ever ever ever. :) and many many many presents that overwhelmed me totally.

and now, when i was looking for an internship, well there was a waiting period that made me feel really frustrated, and there were times when i felt that God has forgotten about me. but i didnt give up and i kept trusting God and really covered this internship in my prayers. well, today i just clinched an internship offer on the spot, the pay isnt very much, but for an intern i dont expect much too.

not just financially, my ministry is also prospering. last year my svc attendance hardly hit 20, and its always a struggle to hit even 16. now we can easily hit 20, and if everybody can attend, we can easily hit 25. and our highest hit attendance was 35 :)

well, over the past few days i learnt one thing about thanksgiving. it is a simple subject that is overtalked, but yet is forgotten. do you realize that if you are really nice to a person and keep thanking them and appreciating them for whatever good they did for you, they will do even more good for you and be happy to help you anytime? rather than to an unthankful person. well, i think this is the same thing with God. if we can give thanks to God for every single little thing that we experience, God will be more likely and more gladly to pour out His blessings to us.

so dont forget to GIVE THANKS in everything you do. :)